Redefining Myself

Sometimes life isn’t as hard as we make it out to be.

I’ve done a lot of work – primarily, internal work – over the last two years or so, and I’m finally coming to a place where things are truly starting to make sense again.

I’ve been struggling with the dilemma of “What I Want to be when I Grow Up” for many years now – or I guess you could say, since growing up.  I can’t find any careers that are both suited to my skill and experience level that fire me up, or even entry level ones that lead to careers that fire me up.  Seemingly everything takes more than a BA to start with, or no degree at all – and whilst I don’t mind working in a job that doesn’t require a degree, despite the fact I have one, the ones that I can actually do are really just entry-level office administration work.  Not to knock administration, but it’s something I ‘can do’, not necessarily something I’m passionate about.

Not that long ago, however, I had a lightbulb moment. In truth, I’ve always known what I wanted to be when I grow up – I have always (at least, from the time I could read) wanted to be a writer.  Nearly anytime I mentioned this, however, I was met with limited enthusiasm.  “That’s great…. but what will you do to make a living?” In response to that, I did briefly explore journalism, but quickly found that journalism and myself are not a great mix.  I’m really not cut out for dog-eat-dog, beat-everyone-else-to-the-scoop type stuff, and journalism is rife with that.  Furthermore, my true dream is to be an author of books.  Journalism would be writing, and aside from the nasty atmosphere, a lot more desirable than administration – but being an author of books is my true calling. 

Instead, I’ve been getting hung up on how I’m going to make a living, under the blatant assumption that being an author would not make a living.   More importantly, I haven’t been doing anything about being an author.  Frankly, I’m not ‘earning a living’ at the moment anyway – but I could be writing.

So, I’ve started writing.  In my true style, I have not one project on the go, but about four, not counting my blogs.  Some, by their very nature, are progressing faster than others, but that’s fine.  They may not become books.  But I’m writing and that’s what’s important.  If I wait “until” before I start writing, I’ll never be an author.

And I’m blogging again.  (Says Captain Obvious).  Stay tuned for more, and more frequently, at this blog. Or, for a breath of fresh air (or at least pictures of such), check out my new baby – Walking to Wellness.


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