An Open Letter to You

I don’t know you as well as I’d like to. Still, I feel like I do know you, quite intimately. Because you remind me of myself, so strongly.

I can see, and more importantly, feel your struggle with self confidence deep into my core. I can feel it, because I do feel it. Because we are different, but we are the same in this regard.

Truth be told, there is no magic answer. Oh, for a fairy godmother that would wave her wand, and instantly we’d be the beautiful, self-confident and self-assured, calm, poised, funny and fun to be around princesses that we imagined we would grow up to be as children. Here’s the thing though. Even if we were exactly that – would we believe it? I suggest that we wouldn’t. We’d look in the mirror, and see that actually, this dress would suit Snow White better than ourselves. As lovely as those slippers looked on Cinderella, on our feet they just look clompy and pretentious. Our hair doesn’t fall as gracefully as Aurora’s, and doesn’t have that long and healthy glow that Rapunzel’s does.

In truth, of course, we’re not princesses. And we never will be. Frankly, I’ve decided I’m quite happy not to be a Royal, real or fairy-tale. Too much castle to clean, too many people honestly scrutinising our lives for the slightest blip. And don’t even get me started on the pressure for an heir – which, when put a different way, is really just the greater public wanting to know the details of your sex life.

The beauty in all of this, is that we don’t have all and sundry desperate for a candid shot of us. It’s a cliché, but it’s true – people really don’t think about you as much as you fear they do. That’s the beauty of being average, rather than a celebrity. Better still, that doesn’t mean you’re unloved. It means you are loved for exactly who you are. There is truly no one else who can be a better you, than you.

Every mum has her less than optimal days, but no one else could be your children’s mum.

Every woman has her bloated days, her bad hair days, and her days when she should have just stayed in bed. But no other woman can be you.

Every woman has ideas she thinks is great, but most of these women will be too scared to implement them, and let self-doubt talk her out of it.

Every woman will know someone she thinks is more beautiful than her. This means that someone is envious of you just as you are envious of someone else.

There will always be someone smarter, richer, more successful, more graceful, more beautiful, better able to handle stress than you. There will always be someone better than you, in just about every aspect.

Except no one else can be a better you.

Those days you wake up, and decide there’s no point trying out the new idea, because it wouldn’t work anyway? Those days are the days negativity wins – and when you’re not being your best you.

Those days you do something really well, but won’t let yourself feel proud of it, because someone else could have done it better – those days, the negativity wins – no one else could have done it exactly that same way.

You’re never going to wake up as a fairy-tale princess. You’re never going to wake up and find that someone has waved a wand, and now your life is perfect.

No one else is you. And that’s pretty perfect itself.


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